The Journey of life

Live Your TruthLive Your Truth by Sandy Cooper
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It is a literary fiction by genre. But it can easily be dubbed as an autobiography. Or it can be termed as a memoir. It is the story of a person who has seen much of life. It is the autobiography of a human who has relentlessly fought with rising waves of life. It is the memoir of an individual for whom life is inevitably full of surprises-surprises that do not give a flowery feelings any more. Live Your Truth by Sandy Cooper is inevitably everyone’s story. It is the story of life. As a debutant author Sandy has shown exceptional maturity in detailing the psychological conflict of a man who by her own words is hit by the tsunamis of life.
The timeline of the fiction initiates at the fiftieth birthday of the protagonist. Fiftieth birthday is by all means a milestone of life. And to me the timing for the story to start could not have been better. It is the age, when everyone expects to arrive at a relatively mature state of life. It is the time when individual expects to cruise through the ocean of life and arrive at a relatively safe harbor. But nobody dreams in wildest nightmare that he or she has to start a life afresh. Exactly that is what which happened in her life. Sandy could never have expected that in her fiftieth birthday a golden chariot will drive up to her house and take her to White House to have a dinner with Mr. President. But at least somebody can easily expect that a few bouquets will arrive- a few roses will come- a few phone calls-a few greeting cards. Bouquet did arrive but that is a relative different story altogether.
What moved me at the very beginning is the ability of Sandy to create an ambience-an ambience from where the story can take off. She has an inimitable style that creates a sense of suspense at the very onset and I was forced to think that whether it is a thriller or not. Believe me! Simply I was. She encounters three unexpected happenings that are enough to simply bend down somebody. Her professional career got a jolt-her personal relation got a beating-and last but not the least she has an unexpected announcement from her mother. Such was the strong impact that at first I was sure it all due to some external catalyst like some supernatural power-some spy agencies- some mastermind planning. And wonder of wonders –when I ventured deep into the book I was able to discover that catalyst was there alright-but the name of the catalyst was life.
Like the icing of the cake she was burdened further with managing the financial responsibilities of her grandmother. That does mean that she does not have any material gain but to manage a hoard of responsibilities in addition to her already troubled present. And it is not the responsibility of a particular individual-it is the responsibility of the entire family. In the words of the writer
‘My mother had planned an ambush. It felt like the air was being sucked out of the room. Everything was completely silent, save the trickling of the clock on the wall which seemed to be pounding in time to my thumping heartbeat. What my mother has spent the past fifty years trying to accomplish, she had done in one full swoop over the past ten minutes. She was transferring her own powers to me. She was putting me in charge of not just my grandmother’s well being, but of the well being of my entire family.’
But it was just the beginning. She has to solve problems-lots of problems. Her father’s portfolio management is one of them. Threatened by the possible burden of income tax-her father has put up his financial investments in a portfolio that he can’t just touch for the time when it is most needed. Obviously he has done it at the advice of a man who is basically concerned about his own commission-not about the ailing man sitting beside him.
Next came the bill of the nursing care of her grandmother. When there is not enough money left at the account-can the amount bill is paid? Or in other words can a family survive with food that can barely support one individual? Is she a wizard of the Oz?
Life is a lesson that at every moment opens before us a new chapter. The fiery tests Sandy did face are parts of her lessons. The question is whether Sandy will shatter like a fragile piece of glass or triumph against all odds?
I was really moved with the narration of last few days or more precisely speaking last few hours of the life of the mother of Sandy. Bitten by an incurable disease-her days are illuminated by her zeal to live and her daughter’s desperate struggle against the course of the tide. She knew it was a lost battle already and still she tried-tried and continued to try. The narration was so heart touching that it can easily make the eyelids wet-
‘Though eventually the cancer won, I felt that my mother and I had fought as hard as possible for as long as we could. I truly felt like we had fought the cancer together. Every step of the way, we’d joined forces and fought together, until the end. My mother and I were the strongest people I knew. We were cut from the same cloth.’
It is the sincere effort of Sandy that has made her stand apart in the crowd-you can easily identify who can easily nicknamed as Courage!

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The pitch black dawn….

****: The Anatomy of Melancholy****: The Anatomy of Melancholy by Matthew Selwyn
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

For years there was not a drop of rain in the desert.
But suddenly one day-clouds gathered over the sky-a cool breeze flows-and suddenly there is a splash of rain…..
How a toad who has lived years in the desert without a shower of water will feel?
****.or the Anatomy of Melancholy by Mathew Selwyn is the story of a modern day youth who is in a desperate bid to seek the meaning of life. He is like the toad-who have waited for years for the shower….
But where is the rain?
The flowing wind, the blue sky, the fragrance of spring, the grassy village roads- still attracts him. But life is not the same wild innocence for our protagonist. A cosmopolitan life has made him breathe in the suffocating environment of the modern day world. Like the hurriedly moving pigs as shown in the Charlie movie-he is one of the pigs among the countless pigs thronging the city every day. He is the hollow man-the stiffed man lost in the smog of the city-but sometimes like a splash of shower-the fresh thought crosses his mind
‘There’s a problem here. You’re not draft, you see it, you understand my plight. Shit, we all feel it-it’s in every atom of the world around us, each breath we take more suffocating than the last. The churning silence that is life-the wonderful tangle, the mess of existence. Step right up for the ride of your life, join the bandwagon, come on board. You, me, we’re all in-there is no opt out. That’s our problem; we’re struck firmly on time, rooted in reality.’
Life has been discovered from different perspectives-the meaningless meaning of life has been attacked with sharp arrows of satire. The satire in the book has not come as a deliberate attempt-but came spontaneously. Our protagonist wants to escape from the messy life hooked with social media sites –devoid of reality. He wants to rebel against a life where virtual reality will make you its slave- a life where virtual kiss will replace a lovely pair of wet lips. After all, window of life can never be the digital windows.
Here is no water but only rocks in this barren land. In the words of the poet
‘Ganga was sunken, and the limp leaves
Waited for rain, while the black clouds
Gathered for distant, over Himavant
The jungle crouched, humped in silence.
Then spoke the thunder
Data: what have we given?’

And where does the root of escape lies. To him-the root of escape lies in the sex-the physical intimacy which is his mantra of freedom. It is for him Freedom from boredom of life-freedom from misery of life-freedom from daily grief, despair that at times threatens to attack our basic existence. To him sex is a quest of discovering a piece of his existence. It may sound philosophical-but it is reality. So sex comes in various modes, in various forms throughout the book-be it lesbian intimacy, be it polygamy, be it some other forms of sex that our civil society may dub as highly unethical. But the reality is that sex descriptions never seem vulgar throughout the whole book-it is so spontaneous, so natural-like a nude study of Ruben!
It is the story of the modern age-where the history is all set to repeat itself. A depression-prolonged, silent is creeping into the minds of the human-making them die a thousand times before their death. Or I may be wrong. It is the story of our times when in every passing minute, in every passing hour, in every passing day human feels silent cold jaws of death-erasing their existence-compels to live a life of ghost
‘Most people don’t need to fear absence anymore-we’re blinded, permanently. There’s no need to suck out the light show that protects us either, inoculation precedes the sickness now. Sedation isn’t an option, it’s a shared reality. Most people don’t see the beauty of the system, how perfect our salvation is.’
Mathew has an incredibly powerful pen-it is not easy to catch the attention of the reader in a novel narrated entirely on first person. A confession of a lad who is addicted with the opium of modern world will flow chill down your spine.
Not thinking about the fate of the protagonist-but thinking about the reader’s fate. Because, that protagonist is a mirror reflection of everybody –his story is everybody’s story.
Where we are heading? Where the vortex of modern times will eventually lead us into?

Will the life complete its circle? Will our protagonist be successful in devising a meaning of life out of the Pandora’s Box that the modern world has opened for us?
Or we have opened it for the modern world……..

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The wonder that was INdia

LegacyLegacy by Mohan Prasad
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It is not merely a story of a boy-but it is a snapshot of the period of his growth-the time, the history, the culture’ is how you can try to explain ‘Legacy’ by Mohan Prasad in an one sentence expression.
Legacy’ is the perfect name for the book. A nation is born awaking from the sleep at the stroke of the midnight after a long history of struggle for independence-erasing a long history of colonial occupation. But that was just the beginning-tryst with destiny of the country was a mix of hope and despair, joys and tears. Just after independence dreams of millions were shattered-thousands rendered homeless after the line of Radcliffe passed straight through their hearts-bleeding them. It was a journey of nightmare for laths-often trains crossing the borders were found to contain only dead bodies-only past, who were very much alive, very much present when the trains had started their journey. And after partition-it was not an unmixed bliss too. More has to come-there was poverty, there was famine, there was corruption, there was racial discrimination, and there were riots in the name of religion. But there was progress to. India marches ahead in the field of education, science, technology-you name it. And the backdrop of the newly independent country was changing rapidly too-there were rapid changes in almost every aspect-older thought giving way to the newer ones-communist and socialistic ideologies sprouted –religious organizations like RSS started to make a clear cut impact on public minds. Border truce with neighboring countries taught India to become self reliant in the field of defense. In a nutshell-there were signs that India was maturing-taking noteworthy strides towards being a nation in making. It was just like the story of a boy getting grown up-he makes countless errors-countless blunders in his childhood, boyhood, youth hood, adulthood…. In spite of all these errors he makes progress-he grows up-he gets matured. It is pretty much the same story with a big family-there is invisible and visible stress and strains in a family-there are errors in decisions-but there is a bond that sews the family member’s together-like flowers of a garland. ‘Legacy’ is the story of seeing the nation getting matured from the perspective of an individual. ‘Legacy’ is the story of an individual gradually getting grown up, too.
If I say-this is the story of Darshan Swami-who was once lovingly called Dalai by his parents-then thorough injustice will be done to the story. it is not merely a story of an individual-it is also a story of generations- it is the story of traditions that flows like the river Baghmati where the story had first begun-where the little Dalai had his first lessons in the lessons of life from his father. Here the little boy first knew how their family flourished-with dreams and aspirations how the great, great predecessors of the family started their business, how the ups and downs came in their lives. It was like the journey of the pilgrim for little Dalai-down the memory lane, knowing his roots-knowing his destiny. Here from the father –the little boy got his first lessons of history, civics and politics of a young nation-as young as the boy himself-throbbing with excitement, boiling with enthusiasm, leaping with vigor. His father was his first guru (it may seems a little out of context, but today is teacher’s day. Is not that coincidental?)
Every story has a prologue. How can here be exception? Let us take a sneak peek into the story of Shankar-the father of little Dalai. A robbery at their house makes him realize how desperately he needs to protest-in the face of unjust. So he joined a RSS camp-where he was taught the art of self defense. But strength often accompanies arrogance and pride-and he challenged a burly man in mock duet. And as he was no ‘Dharmaraj’, he caused wound of his opponent, breaking laws. And that was his end with RSS. He returned back to his hamlet and never ever came with active contact with RSS again.
The story of Dalai is a story of a boy who loved to fly like a bird under the sky-who loved to live the life at its fullest. At the hostel, they were like lords of wishes. Dalai and gang devised ways to escape from hostel, attend other’s weddings and enjoy lavish meals, steal from the kitchen –just name any devil’s plan and the boys are on their toes. Dalai was at the seventh heaven until his luck ran out one day-he was caught in his act of escape from the hostel. His father was summoned and charge of visiting the brothel was alleged against Darshan. His father knew that the boy had not committed the sin, but
‘shankar stayed back for the night in the hostel’s small guestroom. With the first rays of the morning, they left for Baeshwar. With a heavy heart, Dalai took leave of his friends-the brothers in arms and partners in crime. They would also leave soon, for the summer vacations were due in a week. The sole difference was Dalai wouldn’t return to the same address. In fact, the events that led to Dalai’s expulsion had started some months earlier, before the previous summer.’
But life does not remain static, it is dynamic. So the story goes on and on-and with that Dalai. At the crossroad of life-he meets Anita and life takes a new turn. Life starts to bear a new perspective-a new meaning.
At some point of time-their life diverges .dalai became a spiritual leader and Anita a firm believer in extremist ideologies. But what will become of their dreams? The dreams they once shared together-with new song of hope in their minds.
Destiny plays cruel jokes with men-it makes and it breaks.
Life is the game of making and breaking.
‘Legacy ‘ is everyone’s story-everyone can realize the reflection of his or her traits in the characters-in the hope, grief, joy, sorrow, aspirations of the protagonists everyone can discover themselves. The characters are so naturally portrayed that never the reader will realize that he is reading a fiction-it will rather be a journey of identification. Romance is an essential ingredient of the journey of two protagonists-but it is rather a secondary part.
As we have already discussed that the story culminates around India- the land and the people have been trapped inside the book with all the splendors, with all the contrasts and with all the diversities. However one aspect that is needed to be pointed out that as the time period of the story is rather a long one-from the forties to eighties-the contemporary events make the fabric of the story. However-long dialogues depicting events may be too tiresome for the reader. Only raw facts without any fictional elements might break the rhythm-and sometimes may disturb the coherency and flow of the story.
After all-after finishing ‘Legacy’ the story will echo in the minds of the reader………

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Life endless

She has looked to the body of the lady –covered in white clothes-for the last time.
Maybe after a long time-she is absorbing the company of her mother with all her senses- after a long, long time!
Because what memory she has of her mother is the painful haunting nightmare of her-getting her snatched away from the company of her mother-from the warmth of her family- to the dark cold corner of the orphanage-when she was merely five-and was not able to recognise what cruel joke the destiny has played with her. When the kid is expected to enjoy the company of her doting parents-she was exiled from the home.
For the rest of her life-it is all blurred nightmare- her father always thought she is the witch of the family-who is going to ruin the fortune of the family.
She has asked god a million times-looking at the dark night sky-twinkling with million zillion diamonds-‘why me god? What wrong have i done to deserve this?’
The god remained silent!

And now- she is in front of her mother-her lifeless, cold body-for the last time –or you maybe say for the first time in so many years.
And her father-or rather whom she has hated throughout his life being her father- is still abusing her-yelling at her
‘Don’t you dare touch her, you filthy whore’
Thunder of thousand rivers is nearly to explode in her mind-all the atoms that has made her is about to start a chain reaction-unleashing of anger is going to be like the eruption of a volcano after thousand years of dormancy.
Everything is getting erased up-her memory, soul, future.
Darkness everywhere-is there any light?
KLASS by Prita Yadav is the story of a girl-who has to fight with the ghost of the past to survive in the present or more precisely surviving in the future- because she has chosen her present to be like an aimless ship. That’s why when her parents got her admitted in the KLASS-an elite sports school in the state of Maharashtra-her single point agenda was to behave so strangely so that she might get expelled from the school in no time. If you think it is self destruction-then I am afraid you are quite right. But from psychological viewpoint –her only wish was to see her parent’s endeavour being crashed. In the word of the writer-
‘Just the ideal school where I always dreamt of studying’. Jo thought looking around the majestic school. ‘Then why do I have this nagging feeling in my heart? It is only because she selected this school for me? Why do I feel I don’t belong here? Is it because of the other people or is it because of the Kelvin Jordan? I need to teach him a good lesson.’

It is hard to express the dilemma of a girl who has gone through this storm-persistently since her childhood and who is about to step into adolescence. Prita has made that challenging work look amazingly easy with her free flowing style of narration-story –line is spontaneous-like a fountain or you may say- like the first experience of unbound adolescence.
So let us return back to the story. From day one she is determined to challenge the rules and regulations of the elite institutions at every step, so that the authority may have no option but to expel her from the school. And her start was perfect- on her way to the school-in the bus. She had an encounter with Nick and Somesh-her would be classmates.
‘But before Somesh could complete his statement,Jo casually stood up, stretched her limbs and landed a hard punch on his stomach. Somesh let out a cry and in blind rage flung himself as Jo, she moved out of his way just in time and he went crashing down the aisle.’
But human mind sometimes plays with the individual. Brain commands one way- and the heart directs the other way. Little did she knew that she will encounter a mofussil girl –with her hair smeared in mustard oil- wearing an typical dress-who will change her destiny?
In the class she is amid confusion-lots and lots of confusion. Only the extremely meritorious students are admitted to the school. Then how come she-an average student or rather what she projects of herself got her admitted. How come her class teacher knows all about her parents? How did she-who had proudly told the world that she is jack of no trade, have her ranked in the blue house? (Blue house students excel in one sport.)
She is also a mystery to her friends. Why she always inside a hard shell? Why her past haunts her present? Why she likes to attack the outside world? Does she believe in offence is the best defence policy-or it has something to do with her past-shrouded in mystery.
It is a story of friendship-love –hate, of infatuation and of romance, of emotion and relation, a story of a dream being woven and a dream being broken. Emotional moments of her reunion with her mother- amid the silence of the tomb-has really transformed this story into a classical perturbation.
But as life never stops at anything-as life has the force to dominate over all fragility of life-so has the story-it does not stop at the last page.
Voyaging towards endless possibilities………….
Possibilities of life………

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The SeekerThe Seeker by Karan Bajaj
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Everything seems dizzy around him- as if his consciousness, soul and identity are getting erased off.
Blizzard is blowing all around him- he is amid a storm-storm outside and storm inside his mind- as if Lord Shiva is making a tandava!
he is lost within a desert of ice- snow is all around him-and more and more snow is gathering around him-most likely he will be buried alive in this desert-where he will he stay for ages- alone. His grave will be here-amid the Himalayas! For centuries blizzard will sing to him- until one explorer one day discovers his body-as fresh as if he is son going to rise after a goodnight sleep.
He tried to think-how his face will look like after the death? Will there be an expression of terror on the face of death? Or there will be a smile-a smile of knowing himself?
He could not think further………
His senses are getting paralysed- icy sensation spreading through his nerves- he is chocking –due to thin air!
How long it will take before it is all over……what an end to a quest……
The Seeker by Karan Bajaj –the bestselling writer of Keep Off The Grass is a chronicle of Max – a wall street banker to a journey of enlightenment in India. but reading up to this if you guess that this is one of the countless books on India’s legacy of spiritual quest-then my dear Watson-you are still at elementary stage of guessing. This is a journey shrouded with adventure and thrill-the narrative style of the writer has given a complete shape to the otherwise pearl like plot!
It all started when Max- the financial wizard with a Harvard degree in his pocket-had reached the zenith of frustration. His mother was fighting with the death in her hospital bed-and he faced an accident that revolved the epoch of his life. Well-I am telling it is an accident-but you can also call it a miracle- a life changing miracle. At that instant the blueprint of his destiny was finalized.
When his mother was ultimately defeated in her battle he could no longer concentrate on his job of making presentations, analysis and further analysis. Everything seems meaningless- everything seems irrelevant.
An inflaming desire to know where the end of everything lies no longer allowed him to sit idly at the corner of his workstation.
And thus begun his quest from death to immortality-from ignorance to knowledge-from darkness to light…..

He took the decision of coming to the wonder that is India.

. He has heard about the yogis-who can take him to the path of self realization. So his destination was the Himalayas- where maybe his desired man is waiting for him…..
India presented a mixed bag of experiences for him-there he saw greed, volatility, conflict, foolishness, lust and that same India revealed before him the true meaning of friendship, care, family bonding and ethical values. But he failed to get what he wants in this wonder that is India.
‘Everyone is a guru in India’ said the man witheringly. ‘Pilot baba was just a regular pilot in the Indian air force. His helicopter crashed here and he had some sort of spiritual realization-perhaps that there is more money to be made in the trade than in flying planes. So he became a guru.’

Exhausted, disheartened Max was nearly on his way back to the meaningless world of work-he saw some glimmer of hope- like lightening at the darkest of night! This time he took his journey to the far south.
But for whom? But why?
‘ That the whole world exists in opposites, up and down, cold and hot ,darkness and light, night and day, summer and winter, growth and decay. So if there is birth ,age, suffering, sorrow and death then there must be something that is unborn, un-aging ,sorrow less and deathless, immortal as it were.’
When I was writing these lines, I do not know why –the lines from Srimad bhagabat gita are constantly echoing in my mind
“Nainang chidanti sastrani naninang dahati pabaka
Noa chaininog kledantopo noa shosoait maruta.”
(Weapon can not hurt him, fire can not burn him, rain can not wet him, nor he is absorbed by wind.)

Will he be successful in his search? Will he find the true peace?
Or is it only a glimmer- as short lasting as the lightening itself.
The appeal of the book lies in its narration-the simple ornate style of telling the story. When the wheels of the bus tumbles- you will think that your bus is going to make an accident! Such is the visual beauty of the narration.
‘Soon, Max point out why. When they turned the outside front wheel of the bus flew out from under it and was suspended in air for a few seconds. Max’s heart stopped. They were heading straight down the valley, into the swirling, angry Ganges far below.”
Is not the description enough for the heart to leap to the mouth?

The bonus to the reader is the immaculate narration of the Himalayas- which for ages have perplexed human soul!
The way the plot has been fabricated- the way everything has come to the story-starting from grief, hope, and depression to lust, sex –makes it really an emotional cliff-hanger!
And the amazement is saved for the climax-it is not surprise or shock- sheer amazement- because the writing is meant to provide you pleasure throughout!

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The invisible hero…….

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It is a drama in the air and a cat and mouse game involving India’s security and the fundamentalists.
It is a high voltage game where suspense and thrill will make you compel to fasten your seat belt from the take off ……….
It is a brilliant move of chess by some invisible mastermind…………..
It is a Checkmate- a fresh suspense thriller by Hrishikesh Joshi.
Two contemporary matters of international interest has visibly inspired the writer in writing the book-the first, is the hijack of Air India flight IC 814 by Harkat-ul-Mujahideen, a Pakistan-based Islamic extremist group and storming of the Jinnah International Airport by five assailants. A thriller was craved out by the writer from these international matters, which has every potential to be converted into an excellent Bollywood suspense movie. It is the sheer speed of the story- no, not as fast as a supersonic, but as fast as a racing car -that will give this newly released story an edge…..
In spite of being influenced by two matters of international relations-the world of the creation belongs to the creator only. The story line is original and the imagination has reached its zenith to produce a suspense story which is appealing and can impart visual effect to the reader.
Let us come to the story then. Justice Shastry-the chief justice of Mumbai High court was used as a pawn by some unknown men to hijack a London bound plane. Despite slight weakness for women, Justice Shastry is honest and truly a pride of his profession. But the unknown people had used a bait that is worthy of compelling him doing anything in the world-they had captured her dear wife. When he first got the kidnapper’s call, he felt
“His brains seemed to have jammed. He desperately hoped that he was in some kind of a nightmare. But he recovered fast. He gave the head a good shake and stood up quickly. He crossed silently as pain shot through his remaining right leg where the artificial one was attached; he paced the room twice, summoned his butler and asked him to hail a rickshaw.”
The writer has shown promise in depicting the characters-their emotional haven, their attachment, their mental ups and downs! Language is first paced and narration, as I have told earlier has given a cinematic effect to the reader.
At first he thought it was a call for ransom, but his thought was short lived. Soon he discovered what he was to perform and was frozen in terror…..
And inside the plane he did exactly the same that was told him to do-
“He made his way to seat number 13A whose occupant was a round spectacled man, tall dark and sporting a typical Islamic goatee. The man got up and extended his hand, his expression lethal, venomously determined. Shastry handed him the two pistols.”
But who are they and why they are making such desperate move to hijack a plane-risking their own lives in the gamble? Trail leads the reader to a conspiracy- a conspiracy by a mastermind from Pakistan to destabilise India’s security and
“Three of our fidyaeen still rot in Indian jails. And they shall be freed, Insallah, we shall free them.” And he told them the plan.”
Is there any hope? Is there any light a t the end of the tunnel, to free hostage from the clutches of the most brutal, most fanatic insurgency groups that the world has ever witnessed. And that too without risking India’s threat to internal security…….
The Government of India is at bay, the external affairs ministry is a mere spectator….
And then appears the savoir- the dashing Vikram Roy, chief secretary of RAW and as precondition of the rule of the game-whose identity is shrouded in mystery. A tantalising investigation leading to the brutal murder of three of his undercover agents leads him to the linking with a bigger conspiracy- a conspiracy that is enough to shake the nation.
But there are questions to be answered- how? When? Who? Answers lead Vikram to a shadowy world where his comrade- in-arms may turn out to be a betrayer- playing an evil game to make the nation facing a threat.
Or was he?
Unpredictability throughout of the book gives readers an enthralling experience all along, they seriously deserve-where unexpected truth gets revealed towards the climax and…..

And as the old saying goes, evil may lie on your own streets or may not. You have to find, to detect……detection power of somebody made this book a really enjoyable read……..
Now who is that somebody?
Let it be left to the reader to be discovered, because revealing too much will play a spoilsport.

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The call within……….

The argument is non ending –regarding the philosophy of mind.
It can hear, can sees an information-but the information might not be stored in the consciousness of the individual. But it is not lost either-it is stored in the deepest hiding place of the mind.
Because mind is far deeper than Mariana trench!
The information that are disturbing to us are automatically gets stored in our unconscious minds. But sometimes they are so disturbing that they return back again and again in our nightmare- sometimes they get so cruel so as to control our emotions and behaviour.
Even the haunting may rise to such a difficult level that the helpless soul imagines of ending all misery- getting relieved of all pain!
Unable to cope with such stress that may tear up the life like a piece of paper- unable to cope up with life, the individual may think of a separate entity- an absolutely new person within- saying-‘just go. Destroy yourself.’
Or pronounce-‘what you are doing?’
This psychological paradigm has been well explored by R. Nazir in his new suspense psychological fiction ‘Bearing Witness.’
Vinod is simply a next door young lad-straight from the generation Y. But if you have time to sneak a peak into his personal life-then you will get, well shocked. He has a loving mom and a bright future-but he seems to be getting apathetical with life.
So he says to his caring mom-the same person who gave him father’s affection and mother’s love-
‘I don’t know…I was punishing myself, I guess. Trying to hate you, shutting you out …..And somehow, it got harder and harder to see the way back’, I looked into her eyes. ‘I don’t want to live like that anymore…..holding on to regrets that only hurts everyone. I want to move on. If you could forgive me…..’
Reader is bound to get shell shocked when a young guy utters some self destructive talks. And it was not originated form some philosophical idea-no, certainly not. It is material-crude and real!
A tantalizing nightmare returns back in his dreams- last cry of someone, seeing somebody getting burned alive in front of him, hearing the last moments of breathe of somebody-somebody very near and dear to him! But the picture of somebody is grey, a bit hazy-like a dark silhouette which has a perimeter-but no distinctive shape.
Vinod thinks he is responsible for this. Deep inside him, somebody shouts-‘you did nothing to save her!’
or could he have done something, at all?
Yes, that someone was she and she often in his dreams. Unable to cope up, he resorts to the path of self destruction, while someone deep inside him tries relentlessly to rescue him from that booby trap of life!
And wonder of wonders, when that she comes in her dreams and –‘when Anna appeared in his dream that night, and offered to satisfy his every whim, he hesitated, but it was not enough to stop him. It should have ended there, when he woke up, but it didn’t. He had seen her bare and willing, his subconscious had expressed his surreptitious desire, and he had satisfied it without a second thought. He couldn’t see any other way anymore.’
It is a strange world of mind-where the boundary of real and imaginary gets erased up- where the imaginary world darling can easily take the place of real world lover of our protagonist and another personality deep inside the mind of Vinod gets control over the real Vinod.
Or does he?

like a sudden gush of wind some pictures crosses his mind- a retrieval from his past memory- a memory that haunts him down day and nought, in awakening and in sleep.
“I shivered as if the horror had been my own. Then he woke up. He looked at her for a moment, he felt derision, and there was no true emotion. To him, the touch of her skin felt as repulsive as snake slithering over his body. He struggled frantically, pushed her away and jumped to his feet.”
Who are they? Why they did come in his memory in silent feet?
For the moment, let it be a mystery to the reader-as the protagonist is a mystery himself.
the story takes quite a fascinating shape when our young lad explores deep inside his mind-startling facts are revealed and the story line gets a whole new dimension.
Is there any way out of this tornado of life?
Where does destiny take him and the two women who are perhaps closest to his young heart?
Let all these are suspense.
However one hint is there that when I ended up with the story I was encountered with something unexpected- the same surprises that I face with page by page reading. And this is a statutory warning to the reader –please do not miss a page while reading, otherwise you may miss vital essence of the story!
However a small comment at the end, for an exceedingly fast paced story like that it would have been better if the narration is a little bit faster! once started with the story, nobody would like to stumble at mid path…………………..
Because philosophy always can’t explain what happens in heaven and earth!
And this non explanatory nature makes our life so enthralling!

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